Last will jokes
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨
Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne
Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket
⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.
I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???
Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.