Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
Listen up, genius! The "dad" ain't touchin' animals 'cause he's a cool zookeeper. Nah, he's shoveling poo. That's why he gets to "touch" animals all day. You probably think petting a dog is the highlight of the day, huh? News flash: some folks are just dealin' with the dirty work.