Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
one day I came to my mom and said "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
mom: "no you can't.."
me: *throws butter out the window* me: "look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn't saluting. Why are you not saluting like the others? Hitler barks. "Mein Führer, Im the nurse," she responds "Im not crazy!
isn't it strange that the LGTBQ flag only has straight lines?
Abortion Isn't murder, It's just cancelling a pre-order.
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure
if at first you don't succeed Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you
Digging stuff up is too hard
Guess Necrophilia isn’t for everybody
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
A homeless man sits in front of a home Depot, a man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks "Why are you in front of the home Depot?" And the man says "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
Why do nuns walk in groups?. So one “ nun” can keep an eye on the other “ nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting “ nun”.
I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof
Trump says to Obama “you know it’s the White House not the black house right?” And Obama says “yeah but it isn’t the orange house either.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian I ask her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better
if an orphan takes a selfie... isn’t it basically a family portrait?
Kid: " Mom I had a scary dream can I come sleep with you and dad " Mom: " sure sweetie sleep in the middle " Kid: " Dad can you get the remote out of my back " Dad: " That isn't the remote "
*Weird background music*
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
