When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?
HI Jokes
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field!
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
What did the bounty hunter call his favorite dog?
His Boba Pet.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Hi boyyyy!
