What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.
Hes Jokes
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.
Now for my joke...
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he never lands.
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
He he, that's MJ's pronouns.
23 is Michael Jordan's.
Fake news is Trump's.
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.
Like if you're not a gay.
Dislike if you're furry.
Repost if you HATE blacks.
Comment for VBUCKS.
Sub to me on YouTube, it's my friend and he has aids, send him joeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?
He ended with a Black Handed bang.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.
Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months?
He lost May.
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.
He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He could not find home.
He's a Fortnite kid, haha!
