I like porn a lot I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off? He's all right now
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
I caught the flowers at a wedding-now married to a hot guy. But then i caught andit at a funeral i kinda nervo...............
Guy it was so weird yesterday I saw a guy and he kept repeating the same thing over and over I hate people with dementia I told my mom to get a new mirror but she she won’t listen to me it’s almost like I sand it like 20 times every time I say it
Oh Hey guys do u know I saw a guy with dementia oh hey guys do u know I saw a guy with dementia oh hey do u know I saw a guy with dementia
why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy? Because he wanted someone to call mommy and daddy
Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11 My friend: how? Justin: Justin!
Grandma: you guy’s generation is on to much technology. Kid: well your the ones that raised us. Other family members: ...
what is the difference between a guy with cancer and the twin towers?
nothing they both fell
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him "Don't skip leg day."
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to the how we talk to other guys like when they say can I borrow a pencil you say you can borrow this hard wood dick
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
“Okay guys, watch very carefully because i can only show you this demonstration once.”
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on people look at him and think... Aw fuck
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
A DEPRESSED GUY WALKS INTO A BAR AND SAYS "CAN I GET SHOT".THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "YOU MEAN CAN YOU GET A SHOT RIGHT?THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "WELL..........WHAT DRINK WOULD YOU LIKE?THE DEPRESSED THEN RESPONDS WITH A "NO I REALLY WANT TO GET SHOT.
Why did the chicken say to the football guy you quarter. Stiller
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
did you hear about the guy that diped his balls in glitter. pretty nuts huh?
