Gerar jokes

Penaldo

Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😑😑😑

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  • Ronaldo

    Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

    Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

    Mom

    Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

    Alcohol

    Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."

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  • Community

    GENESIS 26 Isaac and Abimelek 1Now there was a famine in the landβ€”besides the previous famine in Abraham’s timeβ€”and Isaac went to Abimelek king of the Philistines in Gerar. 2The Lord appeared to Isaac and said, β€œDo not go down to Egypt; live in the land where I tell you to live. 3Stay in this land for a while, and I will be with you and will bless you. For to you and your descendants I will give all these lands and w… Read more

    GENESIS 20 Abraham and Abimelek 1Now Abraham moved on from there into the region of the Negev and lived between Kadesh and Shur. For a while he stayed in Gerar, 2and there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, β€œShe is my sister.” Then Abimelek king of Gerar sent for Sarah and took her. 3But God came to Abimelek in a dream one night and said to him, β€œYou are as good as dead because of the woman you have taken; she is a marr… Read more

    GENESIS 10 The Table of Nations 1This is the account of Shem, Ham and Japheth, Noah’s sons, who themselves had sons after the flood. The Japhethites 2The sons of Japheth: Gomer, Magog, Madai, Javan, Tubal, Meshek and Tiras. 3The sons of Gomer: Ashkenaz, Riphath and Togarmah. 4The sons of Javan: Elishah, Tarshish, the Kittites and the Rodanites. 5(From these the maritime peoples spread out into their territories by th… Read more