Eww

Eww Jokes

Tell someone that your gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:

You) I 1 poopoo (Them) I 2 poopoo (You) I 3 poopoo (Them ) I 4 poopoo (You)I 5 poopoo (Them) I 6 poopoo (You) I 7 poopoo (Them) I 8 poopoo (And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”)

On text* Boy : Hey! I love you... Girl : eww u are so ugly *boy sent a pic of his dic* Girl : beauty doesn't matter in love

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. they did this one time a night. The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said eww it tastes like cheese and onions. The husband replied hang on I haven't put the condom on yet.

A man's daughter comes home from school and asked her dad if she can borrow the car. The father replies, no its too late at night. The daughter says cmon dad. I'll do anything. The dad says OK suck my dick. The daughter says no that's disgusting. The dad says you want the car. You said you'll do anything. The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth. She stops and says eww dad your dick smells like shit. The dad replies yeah well your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago.

Homeless man sees a woman about to jump off a bridge

A homeless man is walking along a road, and comes across a bridge. On the bridge is a woman standing on the railing, clearly about to jump. He approaches the woman.

"Hey lady, are you about to jump?"

"Back off! If you come any closer, I'll do it!" she replies.

"Well, that's fine," he says, "but before you do, can I ask a favor? I'm pretty down on my luck, and it's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, so if it's all the same to you, would you have sex with me first?"

"Eww no, fuck off you creep!" the woman shouts back.

"Fine," the man says. "I'll just go wait at the bottom."