DoS jokes
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?
Do it in calculator.
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.
The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.
What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".
Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.
What do you call a magic owl? Hoo-dini.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
What do you call a dick that's too small to see?
Tick-tack dick.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.