Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
What do u call a bear with no teeth ~ a gummy bear
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
IF YOU EVER GET MAD AT A ORPHAN PUCH THEM IN THE FACE... WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO TELL THERE PARENTS?
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball
They don’t know what home is
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it-moscow
