DoS jokes
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
Neona (π): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (π): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (π): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (π ): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (π): UGH fine!!!
Gwen (π): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!
Neona (π): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
Where do orphans go to get a happy meal?
Orph-Donald's.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan? A family photo.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they actually have a father there.
Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?
Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.
Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?
Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!
Bianca (π€¨): Are you sure?
Mr. Dowon (π): What do you need, Bianca?
Bianca: It's Bianca!
Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?
One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.
Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?
Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.
Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!
Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.
Gina: Do you know my sister's name?
Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.
Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Why do orphans not like the iPhone 11 Pro?
A: Because it doesn't have a home button.
Does anyone go to Eagle High School? Tell me what classes you have from 1st period to 4th period if you go to Eagle High School.
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Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? π€ͺ π
Why do school shooters have the best shots?
They train at the best schools. π€£π€£π§π€£π€£ππππππ
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.