Doorbell jokes
"Knock knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.