Do jokes
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-lotta-puss.
So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.
Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."
And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"
Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What do you call a five year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.