Do jokes

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

What do you call a nine year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?

The "Ching Chang Gang."

Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.

Do you get what I am trying to poke out?

Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?

A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.