Do jokes
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?
A skele-TON!
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"