Back

Do jokes

Warning, this is dark.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.

  • 3

    • What will Sarah Thompson (Ninja Steel Pink) do if she meets the ToQgers (Train Super Sentai)?

    They will TRAIN together.

    Why is it so hard to tame a dog?

    Because it's unTRAINable!

    Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?

    You: What?

    Me: She let it go, let it go!

    Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

  • 4

    • What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?

    The depressed person can scan themself.

    Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.

    Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

    Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

  • 9

    • Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?

    A: Udderly destroyed.