Do jokes

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.

Iran: So?

Japan: Twice!

Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?

A: Because when you're there, you're family.

What do you call gay men receiving anonymous blowjobs at the glory holes inside an adult bookstore?

Norwegian massage.

Guy: Do you want a nickel?

Girl: Sure.

Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?

Girl: 😳😩😩😩

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."

I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.

All people are invited!

We have a lot! Enjoy!

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

Why do Vampires like virgins?

Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.