Do jokes

People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?

Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.