Do jokes
What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
What do you call a door hinge? A door hinge!
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?
"Kobe crash!"
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
Q: What do Olympians make bad DJs?
A: They keep breaking records!
How do orphan jokes start?
Checking your shoulder.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw them down the stairs and see what noise they make! WA WA WAAAAAAAAAAAA!
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
They have no mother's or father's day.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"