Do jokes

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.

If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.

These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.