Do jokes
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."