Do jokes
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie one shoe.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
What do emos and the Lorax have in common?
They both hang with trees.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A self-portrait.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
Why do orphans use water for their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.
Emos do take shots of themselves... not with a camera, though.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)