Cue jokes
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."
Memes
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
What is Osama bin Laden singing right now?
*cue the little mermaid* "Undaaa the sea, undaaa the sea"
I hate my wife.
*cue laugh*
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
Community
I mistakenly sexted my wife’s sister A couple years ago I was on a business trip and missing my wife. I decided to take a suggestive picture (me in my boxer briefs, clearly with a bulge and just the tip sticking out the top) and send it to my wife. We don’t usually sext but I figured she’d appreciate knowing I was thinking of her.
It was late, I was tired, and barely paying attention. I accidentally sent it to her s… Read more