Court case jokes
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
Amber Heard morning schedule:
- Wake up - Eat breakfast - Take a shit - Get out of bed - Shower
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
What did the lawyer name his twins? COURTney and CASEy.
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.