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shower thoughts: so if you cant sleep in minecraft then why u sleep in irl for no reason

im going to find you and brake every single finger you have then kill you and plus she wont date you becuse she loves me not your ugly azz

Here’s a gay roast!!

You tell someone that the smartest thing that ever came out of their mouth was a penis.

"When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go Nothing is impossible There is nothing impossible to they who will try The bad news is time flies Life has got all those twists and turns Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you.

"Someone out there vividly remembers something you said, which you have completely forgotten."

"There could be a viral video of you doing something random with millions of views, and you have no idea because you haven't seen it."

Shower thoughts. U know u have serious acne when blind people try to read ur face-As a kid my parents taught me to not believe everything I see on TV, now I have to teach them to not believe everything they see on Facebook-Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969— Vehicles today can surf the web, link to your phone, stream music and videos, etc.. but they still can't perform a simple database lookup to tell you what the check engine light is on for.-If you run at 11pm you are a night person. If you run at 5am you are a morning person. If you run at 3am you are a suspicious person

I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. fucking damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realize Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid tiny fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god.

Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate it. What are you all having today? I had some nice chile verde enchiladas, perks of being Mexican

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

Impostor Hailey go jus no one wants you here. Until you post a face reveal showing it’s you, you are not welcome on WJE