Won.

YIPPEEE

Fr

Tbf the way i won was dirty asf

bootycrack

True

im back

and i got a snackk

hehe

Cool

What kinda snack

the snacking kind

Probably walkers ir smth smh

the kind you put in your mouth

my favorite

that goes down your throat

but not ice cream

Like wade

soreen

mmm cream in my mouth

LOL

🤤

sure yk a lot abt those

ew

and that

jake no more cream

or wade

aw

i already told you this

its either wade or me

I swear i didnt do anything to that cream

😏

i poisoned the cream

Wirh what

so id know if jakes gay

dangerous poisons

What kind of poison

oh fuck

guys

the dangerous kind

i can't breath

oh no

oh shit

im just gonna be quiet while im eating lolz but im still wathing yall hehe :)

it burns

What dangerous kind

it burns guys

im youre little shit

i feel

i feel sick

*your

Get wades dingaling outta there

i think im dying

what the

what the fuck was in that cream

BAHAHA

i knew you were gay

jake this playdate is over.

My cream

LOL

*dies*

no more wall.

oop

gosh damn it

not the wall

I'm a ghost btw

ik you want the wall

👻

smhsmhsmh

i think you want it pretty bad huh

That tongue is large

RUDE

ewwww

heheeh

smooth

<3

<3

muahaha

muahahahaha

Just like your brain

no

his brain is very wrinkly

just like your tiny dick

like a raisin

im genuienly laughing out loud rn

genuienly

DAMNNN

quite the contrast from your water bottle dick

My dick hasnt grown since day 1

did i not spell it right?

thanks for letting us know

how do you feel abt tht

mal my dick is not actually the size of a water bottle manage your expectations

i dont think i wanna knowlol

yes it is.

ew

youre 10 feet tall ofc its that big

oh right

no

I forgot about that

silly me!

lyings not good

yeah fr

see he forgot his height

hes 5'7

like just stand up and youd remember

6'7"

I WAS GONNA SAY THAT

DUDE

6777777777777777777

I WAS COMING BACK TO MY DORM

that would be tall

way taller than me

Thats a woman

that doesnt take much tho

AND SOMEONE PUT UP THE NUMBER 6 IN THEIR WINDOW WITH STICKY NOTES

lol

AND THE ONE NEXT TO IT SAID 7

my friends 6'2 which makes him a full foot taller than me

Get out

TWO PEOPLE COLLABORATED TO MAKE 6 7 IN THEIR DORM WINDOWS

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

oh my gosh, so funny! (not) :)

.

IT'S NOT

its not

its not

ILL DO THAT WITH YOU <3

Woah

Woahhhhh

Ayo?

Do what?

were jus making 67 in the windows gng

that sounds like an innuendo lmfao

OMG IT DOES

JAKE I LOVE YOU NOT LUST YOU OKOKOK?

Sounds like a what

ME TOO

<3

YAYAYAY

im dying

pain

ow

C==3 vs 8==D

wha

big noses

like my enemy

8==D is iconic

fr

thats secretly my height

Youre too innocent

where'd you get that from?

trueee

send help

help

from a reliable source

there i sent help

nvm guys im not funny

BHAHAhA]

you are

Glad you agree

tyty

ty queennnn

why is my 11 year old brother sending me pics of him playing with knives

Because if you didnt you'd be lying

cus hes 11

I leave for one month and all of a sudden my little brother has a weapon obsession

dont be mean to mal :( first you want me to die and then you say mals not funny... smh

Lying to yourself is bad

my brother threatened to stab me with a knife

and a light saber

I didn't teach him well enough

and his hands

and wood

and a metal fire poker thingy

i think my brother hates me

that sounds concerning

hes j jealous of me

hes very concerning

i snapped my borthers nail off as a whole a few years back

i dont like him at all

Wish that wasnt true

OW

like his whole nail fell off

WHY

HOW

muahhahaha

you wish jake loved you

I asked him why he has knives and he said "hehe no reason"

Too bad he likes wade

he put his hand in the part of the door where the hignes go and i slammed my door and yeah

😔dont remind me

OWWWWWW

hinges*

my brother did that same thing to me

lol

only my nail didnt fall off immediately

thats uh cute..

no no

Unhinged

it was an agonizing two weeks of pain

of pressure

oh gosh did it like slowly peel away

of my nail being slowly pried off my finger

that happened to me

i geuinely feel like crying

owwwwwwwwwww

except it was my toenail

until I had to cut it off

slowly

day by day

jake stop

youre hurting my fingers

Oucher by oucher

it's still not fully restored

ive been left deformed

scarred

ill kiss the deformity then

ah jake my fingers hurt now

thanks man

Bro smth similar actually happened to me

twss (?)

In primary school

Aka elementary for you americans

jake acknowledge the second sweet thing ive said today

uhhh potentially

Soneone shut a gate on my finger once

the word "deformity" carries with it a sort of stigma

but awwwww <3

And my finger cut open

owwww

i was using your word

Fr

ewewwewewewew

A tiny scar is visible there now

true, true

one of my pinkies is like completely deformed from breaking it

ykw else is tiny

i dont think your fingers deformed i think they perfect

Oh no

my fingers aren't it's just the nail lol

not your water bottle cock

i think your nails perfect too.

I think you're perfect

Disclainer it was just the tip of my finger

Every last bit of you <3

i think youre wrong ngl but ty <3

the tip

Hes not <3

just the tip

i think the snack poisoned me

did you repoke it

.....

...

awe tytyty king <3

🤨

Nah dont bring that repoke thing up again

muhahhahaha

not yet this week

About the dick cheese

i like making ppl relive their trauma

ran outta toothpicks

That was disgusting

it

jake no

wtf

it's getting harder to pee

youre not allowed to have toothpicks anymore

what are yall talking about

ew

i will be keeping them in a locked cabinet

repoking

sometimes it tears the hole a little

Lmao

i might have to resort to using a pencil

repoking what-

ew

the hole

tip

yk the urethra

what hole...

EW

you don't know about this?

it's common knowledge el

why are yall talking about di-

UK when's the last time you've repoked?

i used to do it for my cat

wh would i want to know

Dihh

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

Its overgrowing

ew ew

EW

aw yeah poor things can't do it themselves

if it overgrows too much does the skin get like long

EW

What's overgrowing

and dangle off

ew

ew ew

ik poor baby always cried when i did it for him

It gets harder to piss

yeah it can be pretty bad

i feel even sicker

i just used my nails

The foreskin

what

er

staying on top of it makes it so much easier

ew

please

what

and dangle off

uh

It dangles a long way down

EW

stop i beg

Just good penile hygiene

this isnt real?

tf

It is

i beg

ew

ew ew

one time my cats hit the floor cus i was away and my grandma didnt know to do it

Men experience it a lot

as long as you repoke maybe once a week or biweekly you should be fine

why dont we learn abt it in skl then

awww that's so sad :(

EW

i cant

cus its kinda an obvious thing

most people's families have their own repoking strategies

yall are making me ac feel ill

some like to use tools, others like toothpicks

Just use your teeth to repoke it if you dont got a toothpic

it's personal preference

that might cause an infection

ill get you sterile tools for christmas

no more toothpicks

aw thanks

I let the cheese grow in mine then use it on my food

im genuinely disgusted

ew

did that for my cat once

i think imma throw up

Dihh cheese is top 10 foods

you didnt.

no dont

i did i didnt want him to get infected

bleugh

i didnt have anything clean we were heading to the vet

I acc had some for lunch today

i didnt want the vet to get mad at me for not repoking him

surely this isnt real

Yeah if a vet sees an unpoked hole sometimes they opt to put the animal down

It is

and i aint searching it up

This is very real

Cheese grows around the dick

my cat and dog dont go to the vet

Search up dick cheese

Mal knows cus she's trans

Its real

weve never had to poke theirs

hole repoking is honestly a really big issue in america, and even the world

no cus i had a male cat

Not enough people talk about it

nty

ew

im gonna ry

We need to spread the word and raise awareness for safe, healthy repokings

thats disgusting

they need to sell repokers in all stores

They really do

like in the grocery store checkout lines

jake well start a company

im gonna cry 😭 i beg stop

They're basically tampons for dudes

no

"Mal and Jake - Best Repokers Ever"

no

Idk abt you but a high speed drill with the biggest drill bit usually does the trick for me

The prices are insane

no

Its a real issue. Dick cheese goes all around the dick

Men should have access to cheap hygiene products

no

Affordable ones, that is

no

i mean..pad prices are kinda absurd

no

Yeah but like, girls have their periods what, once a month?

no

I mean a repoker for 10$ is insane

Guys gotta repoke EVERY WEEK

no

for a week

no

for a week straight when youre me 😭

no

Bro i have so many boxes of used reporters in my room

It's also really hard to clean the repoker

yh and you use ike 4 a day

especially if you've got a cheeser

no

I don't clean them

noo stop

no

The cheese is too sticky fr

no

Yeah im a heavy cheeser

fr my cat had the STICKIEST cheese ever

that's a good way to harvest more cheese

i think im acc gonna throw up

doesn't it get stinky though?

it tasted kinda sour so i took him to the vet but she said he was fine

At school they call me the cheese master

yall have got to be joking or some shit

aw man sour cheese usually means they're happy at least!

i beg

ew

I heard if it tastes sweet it means they're sick

Im able to change the taste of mine

Rn it's birthday cake

Sonetimes when the dick cheess is too sticky you have to inscrease tbe intensity of the repoker

omg how?

why are you tasting ur cats cum

im glad he was happy

no no no no no no no

*cheese

cum

and cus if its too sticky you sposed to taste it to make sure its normal

no no no no non

im gonna cry

wtf

I think teaching repoking skills are JUST as important as teaching people about puberty and hygiene

What should I change the taste of mine to

The stickier the cheese the more sour and bitter it tastes

it's in the same category

sour skittles

I wish my school had a repoking unit

yup

im acc crying this is disgusting

Would've made my teenage years so much less painful

Im thinking canned sardines

my vet showed me how to do it

Aw that's lucky