What To Do When Breaking Down?

What do I do when I break down, every night? What do I do when I can't feel anything but pain? What do I do when I'm losing everyone? What do I do when my life is going downhill? What do I do when I have serious thought of suicide every night? What do I do when even my family doesn't want me? What do I do when I'm scared to go to anyone? What do I do when I'm breaking down every night, and falling asleep, then breaking down again in the morning? What do I do when I can't go to my trusted friends anymore? What do I do when I want to feel okay, but everything just hurts.. I want to be okay, I'm trying. Every time I try there's a new downfall, another reason to give up. What do I do to stop myself from just giving up.. I think every night I don't want to wake up the next morning, because I don't. I don't want to wake up anymore. I want to live, but I want to be okay. All I want is to be okay.. What do I do when I just.. cant be okay?