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Ultimate Ass-Getter

Comments (96)

    • So you get more ass than me, huh?

    And how exactly am I supposed to do THAT

    I’ll be the arbiter of this

    Go into a public area and see how much attention you get from the women

    Looking forward to the results

    I just went to my nearby Starbucks

    I ordered a latte, and while waiting for them to make it, I made eye contact with EVERY woman in the room

    Not a single one avoided my gaze, they all looked MESMERIZED by me

    Some blushed, some smiled, and a few even GRINDED UP against me out of pure instinct

    But now you have to pass the real test

    Take a walk down the street, and see how many women check you out or even say hello to you

    I am currently walking down the street right now and I will report my findings live

    As I’m walking down the street, I see heads turning as we speak

    Women of all ages are CLEARLY checking me out

    I’m even catching some women stealing glances

    Several females are giving me warm 'Hellos' as I pass by

    They’re also batting their eyelashes smiling

    YOOOOO a few are even stopping me to ask for my number

    I see you're not messing around

    There’s one final test though

    This will be a true test of charm and magnetism

    I want you to try your luck in a night club

    And see how far you get with the ladies

    Report back with your findings

    Ok I’m at the night club giving a live report ok

    I see females dancing and having fun and quite a few are already staring in my direction

    Some coquettes are coming up to me to chat as we speak hold on

    They’re sending UNMISTAKABLE signals my way

    Nobody can resist the charm of the world’s most eligible ass-grabbin, cheek-snatchin, booty-smackin bachelor

    So far things are progressing nicely

    I’v been invited to fuck several women

    Like it seems like every turn there’s a new female grinding on pro

    It’s like having a PERSONAL FAN CLUB

    You realize you’re WASTING MY TIME BRO

    I’M LITERALLY THANOS WITH THE LADIES BRO I DON’T NEED YO AHH

    REALITY IS WHATEVER I WANT I CAN GET ANYTHING I CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING I SET MY MIND ON AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!

    You’re literally wasting your time here

    I can just stop responding to you for a couple of hours, and your world will be in complete chaos

    I dictate the game, and you’re just another LOSER who thought they had a shot

    I won’t apologize when my actions hurt you either

    If you’re offended then YOU’RE the problem

    Being offended is a weak position anyway

    You should be more like ME instead

    I’ll get you trained, little puppy

    You’ll follow all my orders and as long as you behave you’ll get pats on the head

    If you’re good I’ll even feed you

    Maybe I’ll even take you on a walk too

    You better not make a mess on the carpet though

    That gets you locked in the kennel

    Your little attempts are cute

    But when you grow up and become as successful as me, you’ll understand that the world doesn’t care if you think you’re hot shit in your head

    It only cares about results

    You see, there are two kinds of people in this world

    Those who make things happen, and those who watch things happen

    As if I already don’t know the answer

    BOOTY$MACKA

    Where did you spawn from?

    a hole

    opal opal

    Ah, it’s this guy again

    we just met ?

    I guess the average IQ of the room has risen ever so slightly

    opal opal

    I guess the average IQ of the room has risen ever so slightly

    It’ll raise like my dick if YOU LEAVE

    You like facts huh? Is that it? You like those sweet, truthful cold hard facts?

    Then bring me concrete, indisputable evidence of your success with the ladies

    Cohesive Merganser