Online Status Request

hey to everyone else pls out of respect don't join this convo

I just really need some mental help

pls leave 4 people who aren't Eli

what

Im so fucked

what happened

b4 u talk

there are 6 others on this post

if its private

i suggest u email me

would school officials see it ?

eh they dont check alot

alr I'll email u

sent it

respond to it

Eli ?

at this point idc so can we just talk here ?

ELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIi

i responded

shitter

coolsies

what happened

uh my mum confronted em about my mental health

saying I'm not trying to feel any diff

?

in what way did she mean tht?

that Im choosing to feel depressed

is she always like that?

now a days yeah in a way

huh

oh

nvm

do you know if there is a reason she acts like that

she wants me talk to her

about this stuff but I just cant

I'm scared of her knowing about what's going on

I give her an inch of my problems and she boards me in to keep me safe

she might cancel my therapy just to make me talk to her instead

and doing that would be a big ass mess because I would have to tell her EVERYTHING

talk to her abt that

tell her

no that's the thing I cant do

that you dont feel okay, and you dont want her to worry or stress abt it

no thats a smidge of it

hey may i give a input

I'm afraid of her

So basically ur in the same situation as im in wit my gramma ryan

cause she does the same shit

kinda

I think

I was going to therapy but she canceled it tomorrow and she wants me to talk to her but im not gonna talk to her cause she can’t make me

does she make suggestions that ur already doin ?

yep

always

“they always not what’s best”

biggest lie i ever heard

she just cant see that ur doin them because shes not there to see it and u refuse to tell her because u feel like she would use it as an example for later like "hey Ryan remember that time u wanted to be more social and less introverted to the point u would talk with strangers just to feel a little bit of connection with someone "

...

I AM SUCH A FUCKING LOSER

RYAN UR NOT A LOOSER

BECAUSE THAT SHIT ACTUALLY FUCKING HAPPENED

I TALK TO MYSELF BECAUSE AT THIS POINT TALKING TO ME FEEL LIKE IM TALKING TO A DIFF PERSON

I HATE MYSELF SO FUCKING MUCH I WILL GO OUT OF MY WAY TO RUIN WHATS LEFT OF ME

I DONT EAT I DONT DRINK TILL THE VERY LAST MOMENT TO KEEP MYSELF ALIVE TO K EEP FEELING THIS WAY BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE DESERVE TO BE ALONE

I want to kms every fucking day because of the stupid shit I put on other people but I don't because I feel I don't even deserve to die

that me dying would be selfish of me not because people love me but because I hate myself so fuckin much that I feel like me dying would be giving my self a break from it all that I don't deserve

What

I am going through the most bullshit in my life and I'm spilling it all out

because I don't know any other way to cope with this

I've never felt this much hatred for myself and I just don't know wtf I'm supposed to do at this point

Ryan

what's up

Were meeting up tmrw.

Before class.

sure

I've done sum similar

I just don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore

But we're gonna talk in person

ethan

Ryan

I need to just say most of it now because I really need it

I'm too tears right now and I just cant fucking handle it all

Yes

Ik tht

Were still gonna meet up tmrw

I know

Tell me , what's going on

i just idfk at this point

Start from where u wanna start from

Or js start rambling , I'll listen

Ryan I'm here for u dawg NUN gay like genuinely

bro idfk when this bullshit happened maybe beginning this year or a couple months ago

What haooend?

With ur parents?

I getting my door removed because my mom doesn't feel like I'm trying anymore

that I'm just going to school being depressed by myself and not trying in school

Are u still grounded?

yes forever at this point

I try so fucking hard everyday at school not to break down and be FUCKING NORMAL to where I go home to an empty house alone

don't get me wrong I'm happy around y'all but still I'm fuckin sad half the time

Yes ik ur not wrongg

Is it a sadness or an emptiness?

idk maybe both tbh

Where u js wanna cry but have no reason for it?

yes but I also know that If I do no one will care once I'm home

it always be me alone

When do ur parents come home?

Wb ur brother?

parent and around 10

9 if they get lucky

Wht does it brother do?

Ur*

Idk why it repelled it

....

he's doing what I cant and thats getting his life figured out

Ryan

yeah ?

He doesn't have his life figured out no 1 does

No one will

Ever

no he's has it figured to a degree

I think trump has his life figured out? If he did he wouldn't have almost died like 5 times

*you

my brother he's not perfect but he's sure as shit doin better than me

I'm proud of em

That's good ur proud of him

But

but envy him at the same time

That dose not mean for you to give in and saying he's better than you

HE IS THO

And ur giving up?

WHEN I WAS HIS AGE I WAS THROWN UNDER BRIDGE FOR BEING A FUCKIN DORK

Why not be better than that monkey

I fucking cant or I wont subconsciously

I WANT TO BE BETTER SO BADLY TO THE POINT IM DYING FOR IT

Dawg you bouta make me leak sum lore lwk

Ryan

Do you try harder ever day

yes dude

I cant look myself anymore because I'm so different to what i used to be

IF YALL THINK IM NERVOUS AND UNCOMFORTABLE NOW I WAS WRECK BACK THEN

I'm ashamed of what I was and what I am

I dont want to be me but at the same time don't want to change everything about me

ITS SO FUCKING CONFUSING

Do you do stuff everyday that is diffrent?

WHY CANT I JUST BE BETTER MY PARENTS SAY I CAN MY OLD FRIENDS SAY I CAN SO WHY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK CANT I ???

not everyday but yes

I'm trying to be more selfless

so I'm buying random people wtv the fuck they want

not y'all I actually like giving y'all ice cream shit

but like I could be at a store and pay for the 3 other people behind me

Ryan

yes

You ever heard the term rain can be heavy?

no ?

tell me

It's a term where a lot water gets on it clothing aka soaked and makes it weigh diffrently

Well I'm using this term

On ur family and ur old freinds

"They want you"

That exact thing literally makes anyone or at least me overthink

"Be more like ---"

"Why can't you just be normal "

Ryan no ones fucking normal , that's what builds character

but why can't I get shit done when they need to be done

Your mom has no right in what's normal , everyone normal is not normal to another person

Because stuff is hard

that's not excuse I can give dude

No shit

There's no excuse for it

There will never be I wish there was there isn't , but

That doesn't mean you can let other people bring you down even if that's all they do

I just to be better to get my head out of ass

Ur mom's getting rid of ur door, make the best of it

That's literally and ssshole term

I should be able to do the stuff I need to do

I cant say "I cant do it " no matter how hard it is because my mom grew up in a shitty house hold

That's her

And you are you

Don't compare yourself to someone else

me talking to her is like "well if I could cook ramen out of a bowl of Cheerios u can get an A+ on ur bio test "

It took me awhile to grasp that

Bro I agree with u but I cant at the same time

Dawg....that 1st 1 is ez..... I've done it in a bag of cheetos....

idk Im just trying to make an example

Ikikik

A+ is kinda insane

Ryan which classes are the most easiest

I know damn well I cant be like my mom no matter how I try BUT SHE CANT SEE THAT

none

I'm decent at em

but the minute I fuck up it all crumbles

like for example today

What were ur classes you mainly look forward to (no saying lunch.)

?

progress reports came out and imma be so dead ass I thought I would be doing pretty ok u know like 60s and 70s BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WORKED HARD FOR EM

I HAVE THE MOST ASS GRADE IVE EVER SEEN

I THREW UP BECAUSE I WAS DISGUSTED I COULD BE THIS DUMB

anything besides geo (because Tyler's a dick to me for no fucking reason

brb I need to throw away my broken shit

I'll talk with Tyler to get off ur tip not gonna spill nun

?

Ryan I wanna meet up outside school no gang activities or meetups , js school work shit tbh , me,u,eli,

Js us3 work in on work nun gay , js cuz

I have anger issues that I don't show to people

Oh ,rs

no can do

Why?

strict parents

before and after school ?

yes I have such bad anger issues I actually used to take meds for em

Ur choice

Before or after

Weekends

I don't anymore but people can piss me off really easily but I don't say nuthin because I don't want to start shit I cant handle

no I cant either

because who would pick me up ?

or drop me off ?

My parents?

nah that's not gonna work

I live down towards where my gf lives

my mum don't trust no one

Well

U*

I don't have a dad at this point

me ?

Yeah

idk where ur gf live bro

You live where my gfs near

Ik where u live

Ur close 2her

creepy

Not creepy 💀

San christaval ?

that my streets name

???

oh

Lmso

thought u said my address tbh

💀

u said u knew where I lived

idk how u knew

That 1 video

I figured out the bus route

...

creepy

So I got a general lo action of where u live

Nah,

Ryan wyd on weekends?

oh yeah my phone is going to my brother

I cant have shit no mo

no door no phone no bed no nuthin

I want to move out the minute I'm 18 but where would I go ?

I don't have a lot of options when I move out

I don't even think I'll pass highschool

Rysn

Me and Eli lwk gonna get a apt frfr

Nun gay

bro pls for the love of Christ let me live on y'all's couch

Dawg

I have no other options

When I get a job , a car , and me and Eli get a apt we g on tell u 1st well.... Imma kidnap u and we chilling

its this the military (fidda get raped ) working on oil rig with my moms bf or be straight up homeless

thank u so fucking much u have no clue how much that means to me

my family has never given me anything worth a damn (beside my cousins/brother)

Ryan

yeah ?

Ts bouta seen so gay so Imma tell u it tmrw

Seem*

lol wtf ?

Nun gay no diddy

idc at this point I'm practically a hobo at this point

I got daddy issues and mommy issues I'm a stripper at this point dawg

But Ryan you are enough dawg May be not to ur parents , ik a lot of adults who don't fw there parents and are fully stable life

Ong I got hella lore for being 15

What's going on RAPPERS

I got that sad lore frfr

never had a real thing with my dad and my mum stricter than a nun on high on holy water

I got lore ranging

Not now homie

I'll ttyl

Bet

Ryannn

hey thanks so much for lessoning to me be depressed

I feel better now

Genuine stroke reading that

you said i could ass fuck you for rent money?

Never said that

uh huh uh huh

bro I don't got money like that and I don't do anal how do I pay ????

im ungfrounded

im kidding

Same

I'm not

*e

Ryan

ay but if one of us three dont gotta job we only have to pay a little amount of rent

or that person who doesnt have a job doesnt

prob gonna get my ass hurting when I visit my dads

Ong ts bouta be hella tough to do

Or all militsry

bro let me live in the attic hiding from the land lord

im going to college first

i ain't

apartments dont have attics...

I might go to a trade school

fine the floors

Top ones do

ryan i fought the sun

and lost

Why, you should've go to JUPITER

40 times

fr

lol

fuck the sun

To get more STUPIDER

yeah I ain't going to college I prob have a job before y'all

You could

id help you

YO WAIT

tbh I never thought about learning anything like that

i could legally adopt the two of you in a few years

OMG MY DAD SAID HE COULD START ME OFF AT 18 WITH A JOB APPLICATION

go ahead maybe Id have a real dad

jk but fr tho

i got my plan straight

PEST CONTROL LIKE 5 P PLS IN MY FSMILY WORK WITH THIS 1 BRAND

ill help u guys get urs straight

I AINT GOT SHIT TO THANK MY DAD FOR BESIDES TEACHING ME HOW TO SWIM AND ALL HE DID WAS THROW ME INTO THE POOL TO FIGURE IT OUT

damn do I have issues ?

we all do

its what makes us

us

Since pest techs are literally base paid 55K yearly that's if you don't go up in commissions to 65K , and or a manager of a team which like 100k

If I was a girl I'd be a psycho one fr

youd be kayla psycho

Fr

daddy issues mommy issues self esteem issues I sound like Rylee ewwwwwww

ewwwwwwwwww

fuck dat how

hoe

Nah , ur better than kid train

bro I would be a fucken psycho as a girl

How no 1 get this

"Run a train on that hoe"

idk It sorry

Kid - hoe

Nvm

You should've be a RAPPER like me, and not end up like a virgin

Lmao

LMAO

Were kidding Kayla btw WE CARE ABOUT YOU

ive gotten at six does getting throat goated count ?

Even if we lwk dry asfk

oops

Night huzz

Oh

Whoop

bettwe

bettter

better

gn glad to know I'll have a place to live when I move out

ur always welcome

Absolutely NOT, you need to be a superior rapper

oh ok

Tryna to take my flow

if we do it, im taking the couch u two take the beds

Should I js ban them all atp

ight bro

ngl if the floor is carpeted I'll sleep there

give me a blanket and a body pillow (not a anime one )

So ik where I'm working out high school maybe y'all can join me lwk

stfu your taking a bed

A bed and a sex doll

what kind of bed ?

A queen?

bro how tf we gonna fit two beds into a apartment ?

QUEEN BEDS ???

Ong Imma need a king to sleep diagonally since I'm to tsll for a queen I currently got

obese monkey

bro I ain't carrying that shit up a flight a stairs

my aunt already got me fucked up like that

this next weekend imma be moving her shit to a new apartment FOR THE 5TH TIME IN MY LIFE

SHE GOT A BIG ASS BED I COULD ME AND TWO OTHER PEOPLE ON THAT HOE

It could kill me if it fell on me

...

I said tall dumb bumb

💀

I'm tired of this auntie

Ask for sum money after don't ask ask be like hey do u think it's possible if I can get like 5$?

WELL THATS TOO DAMN BAD

grill her on a bed of rice

nahh then I would be stuck with her three kids Hiro storm and Lorenzo

Loser torture method , give her tape worms

real names btw

And continue giving it to her till she dying out

I can give u five

Eli owes me three

No , ion want 5, I want u to have 5

Goofy

More money

More potential

Dawg could lwk buy shoes and resell

I have only 96 dollars in my wallet and that's all I have

Nike , new balance , Adidas

A pair of af1's , cheap , lwk Jordan 1's sum sell at lwk 125

type shi

All depends

my bank account is zero zero zero

Sounded hella white with this 1

....

she is white ?

right ???

Extra white

hold up u cant buy a pair of af1s w 96 bucks r u dumb

Like a blonde girl acting like a black person

from which angle

are u white ?

You can , there resell price hella ass

My hb sold a pair for 50$ barely used like u couldn't tell

Clean , white , no crease

bro imma start wearing converses ngl

Ong they hella cheap now

I'm too scared to crease Nikes

Yo i fw converses

U can buy a pair at rackroom shoes at the ranger outlets for 75$

Tanger*

imma take the ones from the phone pole outside my house

bro 96 bucks cant get u a real pair of af1s here

fake ass af1's

bro u supposed to be asleep or fighting the sun

im bored and wanna talk to sum1

bro imma steal ur hollow knight shit

fav game lwk

Ofc not Aussie , shut trade , we js make em here

BRO PLS TELL ME SILKSUNG WILL HAVE MULTIPLAYER

no?

damn

They real stock x veriy

silksong followa hornet

wait wrong game

nothing will ever beat borderland or fallout for me

them shits my child hood at this point

Cod for me

Specifically cod 2 on xbox

cod is like the first ever game I've played

And 3

black ops 2 is the first game and cod game I played

I don't like the new cods

I missed when campaigns where good and the zombies was better

Yes bro and you couldn't just stay in 1 area and farm

modern warfare 3 remake ain't got nun that happening

Mw3 js mw2 on a dildo

BRO THE OPEN WORLD BULLSHIT IN MODERN WARFARE 3

Bo6 zombies fucking sucked

I'm not lying either

Transits ong my bsbby daddy

zombies stopped being fun when they added health bars to the zombies

Bad

deadass ?

Fr , if they die they die

Yes

I used to play it all the time

all jokes we are buds

TEDD IS THE GOAT

night gng

The farm house , the spawn , the pack a punch in the fire area I forgot the name , the stupid pedo when u get off the bus randomly

king frfr

gn

GLORIOIS KING

Goodnight huzz

Give me a hawk

You say tush

Hawk

tuah

Ik lmao ( can't let opal see it"

YESSSSS

real ones remember the song for this loading screen

She ong on dih

The loading song.....

THE UNDERGROUND AREASSSS

the slow fade

UGHHHHHH

YESSSS

bro the lobby background and music

Might get an older console js to play blackops transit

BRO I HAVE A PS3 AND I GOT BLACK OPS 2 WE SHOULD PLAY IT SOMETIME

I js called my gf wifey , she liked it IN COOKING

I got u gangalang I already got a ps3

YES 100%

I got modern warfare 2 or 3 I thinl

1v2 on rust

4 actually '

Old or new

There's no 4????

its mw1 remastered

Wait wht????

its called 4

Oh

boom

I got 1st 1 also

we need to have a sleepover dawg

but fuck y'all I get me custom controller

I'll bring a controller tbh

ethan finna be wild

bro I wish but strict parents

maybe some day

Negative

Maybe at my boring ahh house

Or elis

Prob Eli , my room lwk sad

mine is too

bro I am not whooping y'all's ass in multiplayer in bo2

Ok ps5

Bullshit

y'all I ain't ever coming to my bedroom