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GENESIS 26 Isaac and Abimelek 1Now there was a famine in the land—besides the previous famine in Abraham’s time—and Isaac went to Abimelek king of the Philistines in Gerar. 2The Lord appeared to Isaac and said, “Do not go down to Egypt; live in the land where I tell you to live. 3Stay in this land for a while, and I will be with you and will bless you. For to you and your descendants I will give all these lands and w… Read more

GENESIS 24 Isaac and Rebekah 1Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. 2He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. 3I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, 4but will go to my country … Read more

Bee Movie Script

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang… Read more

GENESIS 21 The Birth of Isaac 1Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. 2Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. 3Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him. 4When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God commanded him. 5Abraham was a hundred years old when his … Read more

GENESIS 19 Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed 1The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2“My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.” “No,” they answered, “we will spend the ni… Read more

GENESIS 18 The Three Visitors 1The Lord appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. 2Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground. 3He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. 4Let a little wat… Read more

you know what pisses me off? female bodybuilders these days use steriods instead of working hard to achieve a naturally muscular body. it's not even attractive. it's disgusting.

W men 🍻

L women ☕

GENESIS 14 Abram Rescues Lot 1At the time when Amraphel was king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Kedorlaomer king of Elam and Tidal king of Goyim, 2these kings went to war against Bera king of Sodom, Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, Shemeber king of Zeboyim, and the king of Bela (that is, Zoar). 3All these latter kings joined forces in the Valley of Siddim (that is, the Dead Sea Valley). 4For twelve … Read more

GENESIS 13 Abraham and Lot 1And Abram went up out of Egypt, he, and his wife, and all that he had, and Lot with him, into the south. 2And Abram was very rich in cattle, in silver, and in gold. 3And he went on his journeys from the south even to Beth-el, unto the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Beth-el and Hai; 4unto the place of the altar, which he had made there at the first: and there Abram … Read more

GENESIS 12 The Call of Abram 1The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. 2“I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. 3I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” 4So Abram went, as the Lo… Read more

Uρ ƚԋҽ αιɾყ ɱσυɳƚαιɳ, Dσɯɳ ƚԋҽ ɾυʂԋყ ɠʅҽɳ, Wҽ ԃαɾҽɳ’ƚ ɠσ α-ԋυɳƚιɳɠ Fσɾ ϝҽαɾ σϝ ʅιƚƚʅҽ ɱҽɳ; Wҽҽ ϝσʅƙ, ɠσσԃ ϝσʅƙ, Tɾσσριɳɠ αʅʅ ƚσɠҽƚԋҽɾ; Gɾҽҽɳ ʝαƈƙҽƚ, ɾҽԃ ƈαρ, Aɳԃ ɯԋιƚҽ σɯʅ’ʂ ϝҽαƚԋҽɾ!

SHREK

Written by

William Steig & Ted Elliott

SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. … Read more

GENESIS 6 Wickedness in the World 1When human beings began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, 2the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. 3Then the Lord said, “My Spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years.” 4The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—a… Read more

To all of the people that don't believe that SHAYLIE LOL is dead: It is bull shit that you boys,girls ,women and grown ass men are saying shit like oh she faked her death oh she just wants attention well gess what your wrong I was at the hospital the day of her death and yah we fought alot but as some say,but her death made me think about how I treated her and you people are going to harass sombody who looks like her cousin its bull shit and it better fucking stop I want all of you to think about what you said what if it was your family member that died and people did the same shit to you people just think how it would make you feel.

My EDP x Chet Goldstein fanfic Chet: You don't like women your age huh? Then whaddya say about men your age?

Edp445: * blushes * W-what the hell are you talkin' bout man, I ain't gay bro I'm just here for a cupcake.

Chet: Oh, you say so? * grabs Edp445 by his collar and kisses him *

Chet: Then whaddya think of this?

Edp445: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR MAN!!! (in a muffling voice, while blushing intensely) altough… Read more