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I regret chugging energy drinks, it has cought up with me by making me stay up ALL night and being productive in the morning but I feel like if i close my eyes ima fall asleep

I'm thinking about killing myself. No beacause I want to die, not because my life is "horrible." but beacause it would just be easier. I've hurt everyone I've crossed at least once. My dad wouldn't have to yell anymore. My therapist and friends wouldn't worry. My war would be over. I wouldn't hurt anyone else. There would be peace with my leaving. Maybe it would hurt people, but maybe it's give them time to stop worrying, to heal. It's not like "I'm going to do it," and it's not me having a mental breakdown I feel calm I just feel Life would be easier without me. I fear I already know the answers I'm going to get to this. But i do truly believe, it would be easier without me.