Christmas morning jokes
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)