Christmas morning jokes

It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.

On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."

On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.

What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)