There was a race between Lettuce a faucet and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running and the ketchup was trying to ketchup
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses, she missed very much.
She told her "Hey, long time no see."
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven".
The first guy says "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times". The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says "11 years and only once" and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says "20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart" and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".
The guy looks up and says "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard"
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!!
Dads secretary left her position, he tole me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
A man got pulled over and the policeman had stepped out and said do you know how fast you were going and the man said I was trying to catch up with the traffic and the officer said there is no traffic the man said exactly that’s how far behind I am
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
Watched a really cool cartoon about rabbits with downs syndrome yesterday you should try watch it on catch up... Watership Downs
