And jokes

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.

  • 5

    • An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.

    There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.

    They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.

    If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.

    My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

    Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

    Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.

    Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.

    What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?

    They both hang...

  • 0

    • A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

    What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?

    A walkie-Torquay.

    A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:

    TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!

    What did one cheese say to the other cheese?

    "Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.

    You don't need brains to be a Boss.

    When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

    The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

    The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

    Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

    Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

    Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

    The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!

    Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."