And jokes

Money is power, and power is sex. Sex is ex, and ex is virgin.

A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.

I just wanna say thanks to everyone who favorited my jokes and commented! Thanks!

My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.

He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.

Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.

And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.

I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.

And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.

The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

People who don't have common sense are just stupid people with ugly hearts. STOP HATING PEOPLE YOU NEVER KNOW! Also write "then exit the f word site," and I think we know that won't happen!!!

I L.O.V.E GWEN!!!!!!

People who are bothering Gwen, stop. This is a joke site, and you guys should know that!

People, she is not even 40 or whatever. I see the comments, and they are so stupid. Do you even know her in life? No!!! Shut up and leave her alone!

When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

A flower gets picked.

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

Who robs and breaks into people's houses?

A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.

Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hairdryer.

I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.

A woman goes to buy a parrot.

There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.

She asks why the last one is so cheap.

The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."

The lady buys it anyway.

When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"

When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"

When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"

Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.