And jokes
So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.
What's the difference between orphans and dogs?
Dogs get adopted.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Hey Danda, :^, Alex, Dangggg, Alya Kuhl, Jessica, Samantha, and Ariana!
My hopes and dreams.
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.