And jokes

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.

Why don't orphans play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.

To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.

Rape isn't a joke.

It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.

It's a way of art, and works on anybody!

Like this if you agree.

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.

I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...

I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.

Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."

What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?

Home base.

What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

Why are people mad at me? All I did was tell the truth and put the Bible in the fiction section of the library.

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?

A baby with forks in its eyes.

I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

An interrupting cow.

And inter-moo!

I was playing hangman, and I gave up on the word "LIFE".

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.