And jokes

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

My pencil sharpener when I bleed:

And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

What’s the difference between a bullet and a Jew?

One comes out of the chamber.

Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.

Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.

What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?

An emo.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

What's the difference between a blind person and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.