And jokes
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.