And jokes

Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"

Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.

You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.

Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.

Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.

They both routinely place meat in small buns.

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.

The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.

Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.

What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?

One is allowed in the house.

What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.

What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?

They both can't hear their parents.

My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...

"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What's long and black? Centrelink line.

The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

Me: Hey friend!

Friend: Yes?

Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.

Friend: Touch.

Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)

Friend: Grass.

Me: And you get?

Friend: Touch grass.