And jokes
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.