Allergic Reaction jokes

My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.

My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.

One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?

A: An Epstein pen.

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok.

Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!

What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?

A kill streak.

Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.

How dairy!