Aed jokes
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.