What do you call a joke without a punchline?
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Why did the heterosexual man 👨 put a mask 😷 on his cock to protect himself from covid silly boy 👦 😜
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
“what’s that on your wrist?” “im a cutting board. duh”
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
Don’t mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it "I'll get you some food once we get off"
Dad: "if they jumped off a bridge would you?" Tommy: "yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!"
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn't get the point.
Son - Dad I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class Dad - Son that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to nove
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
