What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris-They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
your mamas so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus
Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"
Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
What does JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common? “They both blow heads”.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
What is a Irish 💋 😗 kiss 💋 a blowjob from a gay Irishman
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says who the fucks be fucking my wife the room goes silent, the guy in the back finishes his beer and says you ain't got enough bullets.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self harms!
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."
You know when you sign up for something and it says *im not a robot* guess he never had the chance to tick that
What do you call a cow with a twitch? -- Beef jerky.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book...it's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Your forehead so big that the Teachers use it as a whiteboard
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
