Aed jokes
Good day tomorrow, and what day are they still good today? Good time. Love day! A great night time and...
What is a wasp called?
A wannabe.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
When you are playing Fortnite and you get a big W, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
You are a fat pig.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
How do you affirm a trans woman's gender?
By kicking him hard in the balls.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.
I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.
Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”
My friend was the only one who laughed.
What do you call a riot full of white people?
An avalanche.
Hey, wanna know why you remind me of a waitress?
Because you handle my food great, and I give you a good tip afterwards.
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
What do you call a baby in the crib?
Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.