Aed jokes
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: You can't find your dog.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
Lmao
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:
Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.