When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a pinata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
So a daughter asks her father "dad what is you opinion on abortions?" So her father says why don't you ask your sister. The daughter responds "but I don't have a sister... Oh"
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing let them wait for their parents.
Girl: I've been a orphan since I was three.
Boy: knock knock.
Girl: ..Who's there?
Boy: not your parents!
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the Doctor's office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, "So I can examine you!"
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
Yesterday, a guy threw a litre of milk at me.
How dairy!
What is burned dark and glued to the wall? A bad electrician
When a miget smokes weed do they get high or medium
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
Your so scary that even your hairline ran a way
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
girl: daddy ive been a bad girl priest: for the last time its father I have sinned
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila
What’s the darkest point in the universe? The inside of a KFC
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
