Aed jokes
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
China should be a baseball team.
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
Titanic is more bent than a hairline.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Q: What is a clown’s favorite fish?
A: The clownfish.
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?
Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.