Aed jokes
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
jacethehater, you are a hater, and it needs to stop! Waterhsharky is very nice to people, so leave him alone for whatever he/she did or did not do. He did not do nothing. So leave him/her alone. Plus, making threats to people is very bad, and comments can be seen everywhere! So don't get too cocky with everything.
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
It’s a bird.
It’s a plane.
Oh, shit it is a plane!
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
Why did the hobo go back to the future?
To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?
Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.