Aed jokes

What's more sensitive than a pushy?

A Western man on the internet.

Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler.

What did the horse say when his throat was sore?

I have a hoarse throat!

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

What's a goat's favorite video game?

Mario Goat Cart!

Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."

Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!

Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?

A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.

Slade must be WiFi... because I’m not feeling a CONNECTION.

Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?

My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

What do you call a dog without legs?

Nothing, it won't come either way.

Dear Kenya, love of life,

Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!

Love you a million times more!

Two sticks only make a fire.

Why don't booties make good drummers?

They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.