Aed jokes
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."
The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"
The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.