Aed jokes
What does General Grievous say after he gets his penis growth pills?
A fine addition to my erection.
16 is a knight? Mail.
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
Bro, me
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
What do you do when you made a misteak?
You do some yoga 🧘♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.