Why is Steven Hawkins going to hell............. because its a stairway to heaven not a ramp!
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice....
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no bell prize.
your hairline goes all the way back to when burger king was a burger prince
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
What do a shopping cart and a wheel chair have in common... they both carry vegetables
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
what did they do with michael jackson when he died
he got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
What's red and bad for your teeth? -- A brick.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids swimming pool
A bath bomb
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The Apple falls from the tree
Sonic Can run around the world in a second. In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
when you go to a orphanage for a field trip :when the workers said i remember you as a kid
What’s the deference between a child and a suicider
One stays quiet forever...
