Aed jokes
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?
Putting the nappy on afterwards.
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.