Aed jokes

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.

I have an account at the website Memedroid.

My name is J0K35FromWJE.

Feel free to follow me, and I WILL upload to Memedroid (I might not upload daily).

I will still make jokes here jlyk (just letting you know).

Ok here's your joke now...

What did one pizza say to the other when they were in bed?

"Can I have a pizza that ass?"

What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?

Bugs Bunny!

What do a black person and Alexander Hamilton have in common?

They both got shot.

"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."

I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?

A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.

Woahhhhhhh, we’re halfway theeeere! WOAHHHHHHH OHHHH, Squidward on a chaIIIir!

I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.

The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"

That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.

What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?

Memorial Day.

Why?

Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.

What do you call a terrible bus company?

Stagecoach Highlands.

A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”

Why did the man miss the funeral?

He wasn’t a mourning person.

If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.

America is filled with MAYO MONKEYS (you could make a mayo sandwich!).

Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!

My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"