Aed jokes
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"
How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.